“That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
(2 Corinth 12:10)
This is my reflection about my weakness, when God made into my strength. Sometimes, my mind is blinded by my heart. My mind was becoming shallow, when i look at life events without digging into the meaning behind them first. The heart becames the ruler of my self. My mind was lose, and I was drowning in fragility.
I broke the rule at the educational house, and I was given a punishment that kind of made me be doubt my vocation path. I felt that i was disabled. My journey of vocation has been blighted. I really felt disappointed with my self. But, Jesus changed my life. Jesus changed my mind. Jesus touched my heart, that that problem is not a death. Jesus showed the meaning of life to me, that everything is grace.
In my weakness, I try to don’t repeat the same mistake again in nex time. As other people said, “experience is the best teacher”. Really, i trust with that, and i felt it. My weakness becames me to know and to be aware with the best way to choose the important thing for my life, especially for my vocation. The point is i accept my weakness, and don’t want to be lose or down because that. I can fix it, i can change it, and I can make my life even better. I am really grateful with that, because without that, maybe, i cannot stay in this level yet.
May be, also in another thing, i fell that. Having a slow way of thinking is often seen as a weakness. I cannot make quick decisions or answer questions right away. In fast-paced meetings or conversations, i usually stay silent because my mind needs time to process information. Others sometimes think i am not smart enough or that i confidence enough. When there are tight deadlines, this trait makes it hard to keep up with people who work quickly. It also means i often miss out on chances that need instant action. Many would say being slow to think holds a person back in a world that moves so fast.
But this same slow way of thinking is now my greatest strength. Taking time to process things helps me see all sides of a problem before I act. I notice details and connections that people who rush often overlook. My decisions are more careful and less likely to have big mistakes. When working on complex tasks, I can build solid plans and find solutions that last. People have started to trust me with important projects because they know I will not cut corners. Even in conversations, waiting to speak means my words are clear and meaningful. What once made me feel left behind is now what helps me create strong, lasting results in everything I do.
Life does not always run smoothly, even though we have sincerely accepted our weaknesses. Deep purification is needed, so that we are challenged to further purify all good motivations and intentions. I accept my guilt. However, it doesn’t rule out the possibility of encountering other difficulties. My father suddenly developed cancer while i was still recovering with my personal affairs. In line with that, my only sibling will be dropping out of school due to lack of funds. Our money was spent on my father’s treatment. Really, my calling was challenged and tested with repeated difficulties. There’s nothing I can hope for. I can’t do anything anymore. I’m weak. I’m fragile. God is all i have now.
I asked the helping of God. I’m honest with God that I’m weak. I can’t do anything without Him.So, in my weakness, I ask for His mercy. I ask for His love to fill my self. God, enable me to live this. I’m weak. I am only strong when I walk with You.
Life’s story will never end with suffering. However, there’s one thing we need to hold on to: we can do nothing without God. My testimony is a way for all of us to choose and try. And I think the ability to admit weakness before God is a strength. I go beyond my limits, even though I am weak, I am strengthened by God’s love.
Pace e bene.
